pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
