Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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