is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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