dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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