I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
