I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
