I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
