i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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