I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
