Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
