it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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