shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?