no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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