it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
