you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
