i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize