I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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