Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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