he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
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Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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