I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
