I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
