my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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