I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
