I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize