Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
