I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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