Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
