i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
