I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off