I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
smell my finger.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.