Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.