I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.