I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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