I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
