I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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