He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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