I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize