hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
