with your own penis?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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