I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
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Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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