she was so not down for the gang bang
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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