i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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