Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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