plz talk dirty to me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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