you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
