I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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