Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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