I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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