I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
