so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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