2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize