it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
vagina is talking i cant
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
