In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
