so explain again why im purple
no
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
