We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
