She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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