i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
