I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
