The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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