make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The air was thick with penises
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize