Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!

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(504): View more from Louisiana

can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...

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(407): View more from Florida

I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

i can respect that.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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(701): View more from North Dakota

ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO

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(972): View more from Texas

Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it

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