naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier