she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.