got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.