Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor

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(509): View more from Washington

im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid

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(440): View more from Ohio

mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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(716): View more from New York

Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.

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(572): View more from

party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time

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(847): View more from Illinois

She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier

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