I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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