I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.