My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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