U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
