Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
