I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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