You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
