i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
