Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
