Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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