Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I could have mohawked her pubes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Green mimosas i think yes
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Randomize
