I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
